Well, here we are. In 2019. Can you believe it?? Me neither.
I've been thinking for months about the end of the year. It's always bitter sweet for me. I absolutely LOVE the fall and everything that comes with it, all the way into and through the holiday season. The colors, the scents, the decor, the weather, the fashion..... Gosh, never thought I'd hear myself saying that, rather typing*. I love the change of the seasons, the joy, gratitude and giving that come with the holidays and the clean slate that seems to come with the turning of the year.
On the opposite end of that is the "goodbye". I know it's not really gone, it lives on in our memories. It is, however, spent. Invested if you were wise, gambled for many, frivolously spent for even more. I try my best to be wise about how we spend our time as a family, intentional in coordination of events and obligations, even down to our typical day. Yet, still there doesn't seem to be quite enough time. As our family has grown and the kids continue to grow, it seems our family dynamic is in constant movement, ever changing as everyone finds their way through this journey of life, together, yet in their own timing, on their own pace. Which leaves me as momma, in a season of continuous and rapid growth and change. And it's terrifying to think of how much I'm truly missing, how much I will or won't remember 10 years from now, or even 5. Some days, I have a few extra moments, when I spiral into questioning whether or not I'm doing it all "right", whether we're setting the best examples in our marriage, whether we're teaching them all of the right things, whether I'm getting even the pickiest of eaters the proper nutrition, etc, etc, etc..... and some days, it's pure survival. Ha! Let's just be honest here. But most days, are mostly juggling all the in-betweens of the aforementioned days and doing the best we can to answer all of those questions to everyone's satisfaction, hence the juggling, and making self care a priority. That looks a little different for me on many a day.
2018 brought us so many things.
Celebrations. Losses. Disappointments. Unexpected blessings. Oh so many blessings.
I am growing ever closer in my walk with God. The hubs and I are in a better place than we have been in so so long. I am forever thankful for his love, support, encouragement and commitment to me and to our family. Our children are healthy and thriving, learning and growing more each day. They are each a complete joy and I am blessed beyond measure to have these extra moments with them all. Each of our businesses have brought frustrations and disappointments, along with many learning lessons. Nonetheless, our heads are down and we continue to work hard to fulfill our dreams for each other and our family. There is only room for improvement and growth, helping others envision their goals and dreams and helping in whatever capacity is needed to help them meet those goals. It is a reward in itself. We are both so grateful for friends, family and clients who have trusted us to come into their homes and help create beautiful spaces for them to enjoy with family and friends, while others have trusted me with their bodies, their health, literally their lives. I am honored to help each and every one of you reach your goals and look forward to meeting so many new friends in the coming weeks and months.
We celebrated birthdays, so many birthdays, and our first high school graduate. We celebrated time with family with two trips to the beach this year. We've celebrated first jobs and new business adventures. We've celebrated new friendships and wins all around. We've celebrated the rekindling of old friendships and the foundation of so many existing.
We've mourned losses, too many losses. Children and brothers, mothers and fathers. We've mourned for ourselves, for friends, new and old.
We've missed the mark, more than once. But we've gotten back up every time and you can count on the fact that we will every time. My dad always said "Try, Try again." It's ingrained in my being.
We welcomed our first great niece to our clan. She was surely unexpected but has brought so much joy to our family in just the short amount of time she's been here. Andy sure loves her something fierce.
I've been blessed with some pretty amazing women throughout this last year. Some were here long before 2018, some have drifted into my life even in the last few months and I am so thankful for each of them and the rolls they play in my life. My mother, first and foremost. There simply are not enough words to convey to one how important and vital her roll in my life is. If you know her, you probably have a fairly good idea. If you haven't, we should arrange to make that happen. There's not a soul I've met who hasn't enjoyed her company. My mother-in-law, Pat. She is a magic maker. She jumps to the rescue most always and between the two of them, I'm just not sure just how we'd manage. We've sure hit the jackpot in that department and I do not take that for granted. I know what a blessing that is. Diana, oh, Diana. She has become one of my dearest friends and a valued mentor in so many areas of my life. I can call on her always, unless it's before 10am ;) and she always has a prayer waiting just for me. Robyn- what began as a professional relationship, quickly transformed into a beautiful friendship, one that I never imagined and yet, am so thankful for. Kelsey - this woman is a rock. She is amazing, an example to me daily, as a mother, a teacher, a wife, a friend. She has literally changed my life and I will strive until the end of my days to repay her.
There are a whole crew of other women who have completely inspired me and touched my soul throughout the year - through the loss of children, loss of significant others, major accidents, divorce, major medical events, loss of homes and jobs, family turmoil, the list goes on. These women are rock stars, each one of them shining through on the other side, even when they've felt they're falling apart, their life is in shambles and everything is a mess, they have inspired me and reminded me, yet again, of how important perspective is. It's everything.
So that's what I'm walking into 2019 with: Perspective.
I'd said that my word for 2019 was Focus, but maybe it's actually Perspective.
I have a purpose and mission as I walk into this year, hand in hand with my husband and beautiful babes, but THAT is exactly what matters most, and so long as we're hand in hand, this year will be amazin'. ;)
Happy 2019, ya'll. Let's go do this thing.
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